Yesterday's note about a UPN show spilling the beans on Santa Claus reminds me of what's probably the greatest faux pas in anti-Santa history.In December 1983 a SanFrancisco teevee news program decided to run a report on the presumably evil activities of the local Soviet Consulate, on Green Street in the Marina District (a toney neighborhood overlooking the Bay; you'd think the vanguard of the workers would have hung out in more proletarian digs, but I digress ...).
To promote the report, the show ran the following primetime promo (as close as I can recall, but it's pretty accurate):
A slow, deep, very serious voice tells us that "here, within our very city, there are people are hard at work undermining our values, our nation, our very way of life."
As the speaker is telling this, a cartoon Santa and reindeer merrily soar across the city skyline.
"'Green Street Reds', don't miss it!"
Suddenly, a missile roars in and blows Santa right out of the sky.
Within minutes, the station's switchboards light up like, well, Christmas trees, as outraged parents trying to calm kids screaming, "Mommy! Daddy! Someone killed Santa Claus!" let 'em know just what they thought of this little exercise in "Shock and Awe."
A subdued station humbly apologized. Later, it was revealed that a couple of dads had threatened to come down and kick someone's butt over this.
Lesson: don't mess with Santa. If for no other reason, the fact that he knows who' s naughty and who's nice means he's probably on the National Security Agency spy payroll and you don't want our president to pull the FBI off keeping tabs on terrorist organic farmers to come after you.
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A Blonde Buys Christmas Stamps
A blonde woman goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. She says to the clerk, "May I have 50 Christmas stamps?"
The clerk replies, "What denomination?"
The woman says, "God help us. Has it come to this? Okay, give me 6 Catholic, 12 Presbyterian, 10 Lutheran and 22 Baptists."
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