Seven (Latest) Signs of the Apocalypse

First horn – First Lady Laura Bush, who makes Donna Reed seem like Paris Hilton, is put in charge of “Biatch slappin’” ’ Boyz in the ‘Hood out of gangs.

Second horn – President Bush offers African Americans a favor by giving them more retirement money before dying their earlier. “Look, bro’, you wanna live now or die later?”

Third horn – Europeans see a German leader meeting an American president, and root for the German to talk peace.

Fourth horn – Screaming Arab mobs blame someone other than Israel and/or the U.S. for their woes.

Fifth horn – The Boston Red Sox not only win one World Series but might actually win a second.

Sixth horn – A Democratic national chairman not from the South actually goes there and organizes a crowd.

Seventh horn - Michael Jackson finally goes to court for preeversion … and no one cares.