Shock and Outrage

The American Decency Association (???!!) is outraged over the Detriot Lion's "dance team", a.k.a cheerleaders, supposedly racy and immoral calendar spread.

This correspondent scoured the Internet for a sample of said shamelessness, but alas, the Internet let me down. (On the other hand, I was absolutely amazed to find so many young women in college apparently meeting the tuition bill with a broad range of Webcams. Fascinating technology. But I digress.)

The outrage, of course, guarantees a hefty profit for the dancers.

That's the great thing about moral outrage. It does more to publicize salaciousness for free than anything else. Nothing like, "For God's sakes, don't look at that brazen immorality over there!" to make sure that legions of heads turn just to see what the fuss is about. Heck, when someone asked me what I thought about Janet Jackson flashing America during the Super Bowl a couple of years ago, I answered that her press agent just met his year's salary. Who the heck had even heard of Janet for years before that?

I was amazed at how many people I talked to aftewards who were too busy cleaning out the cheese dip to pay any attention to the halftime show logged on somewhere to see just what they'd missed. Ol' Janet sat in the headlines for weeks, no doubt jumpstarting a stalled career, thanks to the morally outraged.

The Terrell Owens - "Desperate Housewife" MNF preview thang later on came in a close second in the gain-from-shock derby. I missed it the first time 'round, but, again, thanks to the Internet, easily found it for serious up close analysis. That clip was actually pretty funny, and again, certainly gave "... Housewives" more than a few new vievers. Of course, the ABC network promptly expressed dismay, understanding, blah, blah, blah and then laughed all the way to the bank.

But we don't appreciate all that the ADA and their ilk do for us. Look at all the hard work they do for us, like tracking down the hottest NFL cheerleader calendars, that we'd have to do ourselves. Look at the reward they bring to the targets of their outrages, which just encourages them to outrage us even more. But do the sensible and reasonable among us take time to give them thanks and encouragement? No. We call them twisted, repressed little Puritans who probably can't go to the bathroom without the lights off. We don't give them -love-.

On the other hand, let's give them thanks but hold off on the love. If they get enough love, they'll stop being so worried about who else might be gettin' what they ain't. Then there's no use for them at all.