Teevee in the 'Hood

A recent line of Boondocks comic lampooned the ridiculous way African Americans are shown on teevee. It was funny, but not news. Teevee, being what it is, shows most identifiable groups in a stupid way. It's a stupid medium, so it has no choice. But Boondocks had it wrong. The news isn't how African Americans are shown on teevee, it's how many African American are watching this and the other swill which makes up most of popular television.

Black folks watch more teevee per eyeball than any other American group, as reported by the good people at Nielsen who track this stuff. This drives Jesse Jackson nuts. Turn off the teevee and do homework with your kids, he says.

I admit, I've got issues with how much teevee people watch. It's been a hurdle all my life. This is why the Boondocks piece struck a nerve.

I once had a girlfriend whose crew just had to watch 'Laverne and Shirley' after work every day. When I left the room to do something else, or opened up a book, one of the crew snorted, "I hope we're not -boring- you!!" No, you're not, I said. The teevee show is. I'm stilled stunned by how many black parents give their kids full cable access, then complain about how their little tykes want to buy everything they see advertised and can't manage to finish their homework or get to bed on time. Duh. Ask them why they don't vote and "I ain't got the time", followed by an excited monologue on who's pissed at who on World Wrestling. Right.

A big piece of what I hate is the weird shared cultural experience teevee creates that I miss out on. At the office lunch the conversation inevitably moves to the latest episode of 'Lost', 'American Idol' or 'Desperate Housewives', which leaves me to do nothing but gnaw on my chips 'til the meal's over. My co-workers get itchy and start insisting that I'd really like the show(s) if I took the time to watch them over the next few weeks. Reminds me of my former girlfriend's pal years ago. They see the fact that I'm not watching the same crap they're watching as some kind of judgment I'm making on them. Well, it is. Having never watched a full episode of 'Seinfeld' (the stories about nothing are just that, about nothing) does make me a better person.

I don't hate teevee completely. I've got my shows. Heck, I pay Comcast Cable $57 shekels a month to get what I do watch, ESPN Classic, the History channels, my wife's home shows and all the great cartoons Leroy likes and we often watch together. My favorite show was the recently cancelled Star Trek entry Enterprise, (sob!) I just don't want it to run my life or my family's. When it gets to where my nights are completely shaped by what the sellers of my eyeballs to commercial vendors do, it's time to head for the hills.

As for now, it's off to ESPN's "Baseball Tonight" to check on today's action. I mean, no point in being unreasonable about all this.