Comments: Parliamentary Democracy

Anonymous said...

Personally I'm for a parliamentary system. I look forward to the day when a group like this has the capacity to bring down the government:

http://www.gunsanddope.com/

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Praise the Lord and don't Bogart that joint!

It's apparent that our "parties" are really coalitions in the parliamentary sense, held together by our single member first-past-the-post system. Within each party, as Imperius Bush will find over the next four years, there are threads and threads, shifting alliances among factions, but rarely working in complete lockstep.

In a true parliamentary system we would have, instead of the GOP:

The Chickenhawk / Breakfast Blend Alliance - devoted to the aggressive expansion of Starbucks franchises worldwide through the constant use of liberating force, creating an endless supply of viewing material for the Military Channel.

The Cheapskate Party - don't wanna pay nothing for no one who ain't me.

The Free Silver Party - economic libertarians who agree with Civil War-era thinking that precious metals were prepared by God to serve as real currency. (Anything else is an international financiers' conspiracy.)

The Leave it to Beaver Party - devoted to bringing back 1956 if it means tearing the whole country apart. I mean, weren't we all just so happy then? No gays, no Negroes except on the radio, and happy wives who never complained about missing the big "O". Isn't that worth fighting anything and everyone else for?

The Deuteronomy Movement - devoted to applying discriminate and carefully selected verses of the Bible to public policy (anything agreed to by Sojourners magazine is automatically eliminated from consideration); except for anyone who lives in a state bordering an ocean, a.k.a. "heathens." The ancient Israelites left the coast to the Philistines, they clearly knew something about its corrupting aspects.

The Motorcross Party - wants a constitutional change that only someone willing and able to successfully steer a motorbike over mountains of dirt for thirty minutes straight has proven themselves man enough to vote. (Women who do this will be granted honorary "man" status.) Also, every five trailers in a trailer park will be considered three people for purposes of congressional representation.

The Cliff Huxtable Party - only Negroes allowed; must have forsworn anything to do with hip-hop, Jesse Jackson and any acknowledgement that the civil rights movement ever mattered.

The Big Business Party - not officially a party, it covertly funds all the others and plays them off against each other to continue reaping mind-bending profits at the expense of national security, long term economic health and the environment. Anyone publicly acknowledging the party's existence will be expunged from reality.

The Democratic Party - a hairy-legged, cappucino-drinking tree-hugging, God-hating environmentalist lesbian from Berkeley. If she doesn't exist, the Big Business Party will pay to provide one, to keep up the illusion of real public debate. All other purported party followers will have been expunged from reality. Or just died out.