XXXIX

DHGulley said...

"My man McNabb didn't do so well..."

Yup. And he sucked in the Pro Bowl, too. Starting to see a pattern?

So he can't stand in The Big Game. Maybe he can go to Arizona, where they don't expect as much as Philly. Where they don't expect anything, actually.

I found myself spending some down time in Phoenix airport during a trip a couple of years ago. I got into a chat with a local about football, and the fact that the Arizona Cardinals are lucky to pull 25,000 some games.

"It's the heat", the guy said. "Anyone here knows they have to play at night. But the teevee contract requires afternoon games, and who wants to sit out there in 95 degree heat for three hours?"

Maybe they need to give out "Croix de Cardinal" buttons, similar to what the Giants gave out to hardy souls who sat through extra inning night games at the 'Stick some years ago.

All this talk of the ridiculously-named Arizona Cardinals leads me to this business of naming teams after whole states. It's silly and ought'n be allowed, except when the name is cool. Like the Colorado Rockies, or Texas Rangers. Even the Minnesota Twins works, and I'll allow "new England because it's a regional state of mind." But the "California" Angels was a joke. The whole "Angels" name was a play on L.A. and the former minor league team of the same name. To say nothing of the fact that four other teams happened to play in the state too. Don't get me started on "Los Angeles of Anaheim." How's that fit in a sports page standings box? What's next, "The New York Giants of New Jersey"?

And Florida Marlins, what, are they too embarrassed to be part of "Miami"? The Tennessee Titans are the silliest. They play in Nashville, where people have an image of country music, the Grand Ol' Opry and all that. Roll with it. It's a fine town, be proud of your roots. I also have to admire the NBA Suns, who are brave enough to stand up for the proud municipality of 'Phoenix', durn it, unlike the local baseball and football teams.

Maybe the answer to all this is to follow the Japanese model and name the team after the company which owns them. It's more honest. I mean, it really isn't the "San Francisco" Giants because none of the players come from there. When Toronto beat Philly in the '93 Series one Canadian paper wrote, "Our Dominicans beat their Dominicans." They're all really just mercenary hirelings battling out for the bosses.

So let's have a Series where the McDonalds Giants face off against the Ford Motor Tigers or some such. In the most capitalistic of major capitalistic nations, this is the way it should be. We could even get a guy to dress up like Calvin Coolidge every year to throw out the first ball.